Kerry: Laramie Project Opportunity to 'Remember, Discuss, and Learn'

One local mom has far more than merely a role in McLean County Diversity Project's upcoming production of The Laramie Project, an examination of the 1998 murder of Matthew Shepard and how it mobilized Americans to fight bullying and for LGBT rights and protection.

For Kerry Urquizo, the production goes to her very heart and family's soul.

The play is scheduled at 7 p.m. May 19 and 20 at the Bloomington Center for Performing Arts. See flyer at right or visit www.artsblooming.org for details.

Shepard, 21, was a student at the University of Wyoming who was beaten, torture,d and left to die near Laramie, Wyoming on the night of October 6, 1998, and died six days later at Poudre Valley Hospital in Fort Collins, Colo., on October 12, from severe head injuries.

Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson were arrested shortly after the attack and charged with murder following Shepard's death. Significant media coverage was given to what role Shepard's sexual orientation played in the killing. During McKinney's pretrial and trial, testimony was given that the pair had pretended to be gay in order to gain Shepard's trust in order to rob him. McKinney's prosecutor argued the murder was premeditated and driven by greed, while McKinney's defense counsel argued that McKinney had only intended to rob Shepard, but had killed him in a rage when Shepard made a sexual advance. McKinney's girlfriend told police that he had been motivated by anti-gay sentiment, but later recanted her statement, saying that she had lied because she thought it would help him. Both McKinney and Henderson were convicted of the murder and each sentenced to two consecutive life sentences.

Shepard's murder brought national and international attention to hate crime legislation at the state and federal levels. In October 2009, the United States Congress passed the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act (commonly the "Matthew Shepard Act" or "Shepard/Byrd Act" for short), and on October 28, 2009, President Barack Obama signed the legislation into law. Following her son's murder, Matthew's mother Judy Shepard became a prominent LGBT rights activist and established the Matthew Shepard Foundation. Shepard's death inspired notable films, novels, plays, songs, and other works.

                        Matthew Shepard

Urquizo, who helps operate a family-owned food truck in the Twin Cities, reflects on her memory of the Matthew Shepard tragedy and the impact it had for her as a mother:

There are moments in life that change us and define who we are. The moments can be both horrible and amazing but they still shape us. There have been some powerful moments in my life that have led me to this point - writing an article about how being a part of the Diversity Project’s production of the Laramie Project has changed my life.

The first moment that changed my life was in October 1998. I was in my dorm room watching the news. There were images of Matthew Shepard flashing across the screen. The ones of his parents - his beautiful mother - sobbing in disbelief. And then, there it was 'the fence.' The wooden fence with grass blowing in the wind at its base. I was shocked and changed by the brutality of it. I had never heard of anyone being tortured for being who they are. As I watched the news, I began to see that people were starting to have conversations about this tragedy in a meaningful way. It was a lesson I would never forget.

The next moment that really defined me was when my son came out to me. He was only 12 and he knew. He told me he wanted to tell me because he didn’t want another minute of his life to go by without me knowing who he was. I was so proud of him. He had figured out who he was at such a young age and felt comfortable enough to tell me. Although I was so ecstatic that he could share who he was with myself, my husband, and other children without judgment, I was also extremely scared. The image of the wooden fence flashed in my head. I was terrified he would be harmed because he was gay. I knew that there were people out there that still didn’t accept others and didn’t want to be a part of the conversation. Every day since he came out, I have worried that something could happen to him.

The last moment that brought me here is the day I took my son to audition for the Laramie Project. He is a three-year veteran Diversity Project scholar. I was waiting in the hallway for him to get his chance to audition. At one point, Tricia, the director, asked me to come in and read a few lines. The last play I had been in was over 15 years ago.

Kerry Urquizo

I am a busy woman with a food truck, full-time job and three kids to manage. But, I did it, thinking there was no way they would hear me read and actually give me a part. Well, I was cast. Going to practices with my son, I met fantastic people from the cast who had open conversations about why we are doing with this play. It helped me to feel less worried that something would happen to my son. I saw that telling this most important story would help others learn that we as people cannot repeat this hatred towards each other. I started to hope that people would start to have the images of the fence in their heads and continue the conversation.

I know that I cannot protect my son from the harm of others - but I can teach him to remember those who spoke out before him to make it easier to be a gay man in the U.S. Also, he can be a part of events like the Laramie Project to help people remember, discuss, and learn.

As Maya Angelou said, “To know better is to do better.”

Kerry Urquizo

NIOT:B/N Uncovers New Pledges at 'Hide and Seek'

Bullying and its prevention took center stage at Breaking Chains & Advancing Increase's  (BCAI) School of Arts' Saturday end-of-semester dinner show, "Hide and Seek."

Not In Our Town: Bloomington/Normal "Not In Our Town" anti-bigotry/anti-bullying pledges at the program, at Hallelujah Worship Center 1105 E Oakland Ave., Bloomington.

The presentation featured performances from students of BCAI, as well as surrounding artists designed to provide perspectives from all angles of bullying, according to BCAI's Angelique Racki "to significantly decrease misunderstandings and increase appreciation for one another."

Unit 5 Passes Not In Our School Resolution

The Unit 5 School District Board Wednesday passed a historic, student-presented "Not In Our School" resolution that formally sets down standards for addressing bullying and fostering inclusivity:

McLean County School District Not In Our School Resolution 
WHEREAS, bullying and intolerance has become a daily occurrence on many school campuses and in towns and cities across the nation; 
WHEREAS, bullying can take many forms, including verbal, physical, and most recently in cyberspace, and can happen in many places on and off school grounds;  
WHEREAS, history has tragically taught us what happens when people stand by and allow acts of bullying, intolerance, and hatred to occur; 
WHEREAS, it is important for parents, students, teachers, and school administrators to be aware of bullying, and to encourage discussion of the problem as a school community;  
WHEREAS, by teaching students to embrace differences, have empathy, and become upstanders who stand up for themselves and others, we create a safer school climate and prepare them to be upstanding citizens;  
WHEREAS, students, educators, and community members across the country who have started Not In Our School campaigns have been successful in opposing all forms of bullying and harassment;  
WHEREAS, schools and communities nationwide have used Not In Our School resources to create safe and inclusive environments where students feel accepted and belonging and can focus on their studies; 
WHEREAS, we, the Board of Education of McLean County Unit District No. 5, oppose any manifestation of bullying, harassment, prejudice and all forms of intolerance towards any group or individual; 
WE the Board of Education of McLean County Unit District No. 5, together with students and faculty across our District and the country, resolve to stand up against bullying and intolerance and actively work to make our campus free from discrimination and hatred. We also resolve to promote safety, inclusion, and acceptance, joining thousands of others to say with one voice, "Not In Our School.”  

ISU Frats, Sororities Respond to Troubled Image

In light of recent national concerns involving fraternities and sororities and issues regarding discrimination, hazing, and sexual assault, the local Sigma Alpha Epsilon chapter and the Interfraternity Council at Illinois State University have come together to enact change.

Members of the Council reflected after a social justice conversation and agreed to adopt anti-discriminatory policies within their governing documents. Members also felt strongly about the need to peacefully demonstrate their commitment to create a safe, diverse, supportive and inclusive environment.

On Wednesday, March 25 at 6:30 pm the Interfraternity Council will be joined by the Fraternity and Sorority Life community in a solidarity walk starting in Milner Plaza and continuing through the Quad. The walk is open to all who share this same vision for Illinois State University and all university campuses. All those interested in participating are encouraged to wear anything that represents Illinois State University, their registered student organization or their fraternal organization.

The demonstration will end with a signed pledge to reflect on the positive changes colleges are capable of, and a commitment to reach across differences to create those changes. Official hashtags for the demonstration are ‪#‎NotOnOurCampus‬ and ‪#‎NotOnAnyCampus.

Earlier this month,  a video went viral of the Oklahoma University chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE) on a bus laughing, pumping their fists, and clapping as they chant, “There will never be a ni**** in SAE. You can hang him by a  tree but he will never sign with me. There will never be a ni**** in SAE.” The chant was set to the well-known tune, “If You’re Happy and You Know It.”

The students were later forced to move out of their frat house and expelled from the chapter, which then was disbanded.

The national headquarters of Sigma Alpha Epsilon -- which disbanded its University of Oklahoma chapter. The national headquarters for the fraternity announced a new initiative last week aimed to “combat instances of racial discrimination and insensitivity” among its members.

The plan includes hiring a director of diversity and inclusion, which the fraternity says is the first position of its kind at any major fraternity; requiring members to participate in mandatory diversity education, which will begin with an online certification training program; creating a toll-free telephone hotline for members to call and report troubling behavior; and appointing a national advisory committee on diversity and inclusion.

The initiative does not include any plans to aggressively recruit minority members. About 20 percent of SAE’s members identify as “non-Caucasian,” the fraternity said. Only about 3 percent of its members are black.

Show to Bring Bullying Out of Hiding

 Bullying and its prevention will take center stage at Breaking Chains & Advancing Increase's  (BCAI) School of Arts' April 25 end-of-semester dinner show, "Hide and Seek."

The 3 p.m. program, at Hallelujah Worship Center 1105 E Oakland Ave., Bloomington, will feature performances from students of BCAI as well as surrounding artists designed to provide perspectives from all angles of bullying, according to BCAI's Angelique Racki "to significantly decrease misunderstandings and increase appreciation for one another."

NIOT:B/N will participate in the presentation. Racki hopes guests will consider starting a group in their school or workplace to promote "anti-bully/gossiping/disrespect and promote communication and appreciation for diversity," and offers three goals for the BCAI/NIOT effort:

"1. To provide, through a variety of interactive entertainment and activities, enough perspective to ensure that NO ONE leaves without a new thought system taking its course regarding other human beings and how we interact with each other;

2. To provide an amazing meal catered by Heavenly Delights so to fellowship comfortably; and

3. To receive a NIOT pledge from everyone present, so that moving forward, when they leave the four walls of the event, the seeds we planted will remain."

Racki and Latanya Skinner, CEO of Heavenly Delights had brainstormed Skinner's monthly dinner theaters and decided BCAI School of Arts could take April's slot for our End of Semester Show.

"Then, we were wondering what would make the highest impact and what we could do the most with -- anti-bullying from every angle," Racki recounted. "The Holy Spirit dropped the title on me and it fit perfectly with what we're moving to do. Just like the game hide-and-seek, there are places in our minds that we've raised up walls to protect, and this causes MANY miscommunications and misunderstandings. So we seek to penetrate these walls with the specific entertainment, fellowship, activities, and special guests that we've selected. There will be amazing food, dance, poetry, interactive activities, special guests, etc."

For information on Hide and Seek or BCAI, visit http://www.bcaidance.com/ or BCAI's Facebook page.

Willie: 'That's So Gay' Not So Cool

In the new article,  “That’s So Gay”: From a Teacher’s Perspective, in the Southern Poverty Law Center's Teaching Tolerance publication and its accompanying website (http://www.tolerance.org/print/blog/s-so-gay-teacher-s-perspective), Ginger Aaron Brush, a lesbian elementary physical education teacher in the Birmingham, Ala., area confesses that when she was closeted, the term "immediately caused me to shudder." Her typical response to students at the time was, "We don't use those kinds of words."

"Unknowingly, I taught my students that the word gay was vulgar and that it had no place in dialogue or conversation," Aaron Brush wrote. "Although I had hoped not to bring any attention to this word, I was doing just the opposite. I was bringing negative attention to the word gay and unintentionally promoting it as a word to use when one wanted to hurt another person’s feelings. By not saying anything more than, 'Don’t use that word,' I was actually saying a lot."

In the years since, the teacher has embraced her sexual identity and learned to emphasize diversity rather than creating an air of the taboo around LGBT issues. She now sees such juvenile slights as "opportunities to help my students understand family diversity, how to steer clear of gender stereotypes and to recognize bias-based bullying." Aaron Brush recommends asking questions such as “Why would you choose that word?,” “Tell me why you think being gay is an insult?,” or “How do you think that would sound to a gay person?” over merely "shutting down the conversation."

Not In Our Town: Bloomington-Normal leader Willie Halbert recalls the value of a similar dialogue roughly three years ago at the Bloomington Public Library, when a group of Bloomington and Normal high schoolers participated in a survey that revealed they all were guilty of using "That's so gay" and other terms, "not even thinking that they were discriminatory top a group of individuals."

"They were actually in tears when they thought about it," Halbert recounted. "Those youths who participated's lives were changed, and two of them actually received the (Twin Cities' annual) Martin Luther King Award for their work with NIOT and other work toward equality."

Sadly, she said,  Aaron Brush's article demonstrates that three years later, "the same issues are still occurring."

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Teaching Tolerance is a publication free to teachers that provides “a place for educators to find thought-provoking news, conversation and support for those who care about diversity, equal opportunity and respect for differences in schools.” It is “dedicated to reducing prejudice, improving intergroup relations and supporting equitable school experiences for our nation’s children.” Teaching Tolerance is a project of the Southern Poverty Law Center and includes the magazine, weekly newsletters, classroom resources, film kits, and more.  Accommodating the broad range of age and developmental appropriateness needed in schools, teachers from all school levels are able to use and benefit from the resources.

David: Addressing Bullying is Elementary; Prevention Often Begins At Home

Bloomington Oakland Elementary School Principal David LaFrance, a former Bloomington High School assistant principal, stresses "you see bullying all the way from the elementary school age to the high school age." All District 87 schools are "proactive" in raising awareness of bullying issues and prevention, via "positive behavior intervention systems, LaFrance said.

"Character education," focusing on appropriate behaviors, is an important part of the district's weekly curricula.

"Daily, we try to set incentives for kids who are doing the correct things to others and for others," LaFrance notes. At Oakland Elementary, students can earn "hoots" -- credits for positive actions that contribute to a better school environment -- that can be redeemed for special prizes or recognition or tickets toward a larger eventual reward.

But it can't end there, LaFrance emphasized. As adults, teachers, staff, and administrators must understand "how important it is how we treat each other." It's a message school officials are working to send home, where personal attitudes, prejudices, and behaviors are formed.

"Everything we do, we're modeling for the kids, we're modeling for other adults," LaFrance said. "It's not always when somebody's watching that we have to do the right thing."

Listen below to LaFrance's further thoughts on bullying prevention and how the dinner table is as important to that effort as classroom incentives.

Nancy: Unit 5 resources evolve with bullying

“Bullying has evolved” over the past 30-plus years since Nancy Braun’s public school graduation. The means to combating bullying also have evolved, with teachers becoming more attuned to the warning signs and sympathetic, confidential communications channels enabling students to overcome their fears and seek adult protection.

Braun is a special education supervisor and, for the past eight years, Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports (PBIS) District coach with Normal’s Unit 5 schools. A 29-year Unit 5 veteran and a special education teacher for 23 years, she also assists with the district’s cyberbully hotline – a crucial resource for students being persecuted in school often as a consequence of afterschool activity.

Despite its label, students and parents are welcome to call the hotline (actually a shared junior high hotline and separate hotlines for Normal Community and Normal West high schools) to report either online or offline bullying incidents. Callers may remain anonymous, though Braun notes the majority provide basic information for response either by their school’s administrator or Braun.

“I see every call that comes in, and then I check with that school,” she related. “If we don’t know who that call is for, I’ll email back, I’ll ask some more questions, get some more information, and then we can get things headed in the right direction.

“When the hotline first rolled out a couple years ago, we got a lot of calls. Every year, the junior highs and the high schools bring it back up (with students) – there are posters in the schools with those numbers listed. The kids can call call or text or whatever and say, ‘This is what’s happening on the bus, in the locker room,’ and then I or the administrator will email back.

“I think it’s been a good first step for us. Some of these kids don’t feel comfortable going straight into a principal’s office or to an administrator or to a counselor, but as we get more information, we can encourage them to do that, to tell their parents, so we can get things going in the right direction and tackle the issue.”

All 24 Unit 5 schools are PBIS schools, with three level of behavioral support. “Universal” support focuses on teaching all students proper behavior in the hallway, restrooms, buses, and other environments. Unit 5 junior highs also incorporate advanced Peaceful Schools anti-bullying programs. PBIS itself includes an “Expect Respect” initiative that’s spawned various programs and projects based on the needs of individual kindergarten through 12th grade classes.

Braun is encouraged that teachers have become more vigilant toward bullying or potential bullying “as things have gotten harder.” In many cases, problems begin outside school, on Facebook or other social networking channels, “and then we’re left with the aftereffects,” she reported.

A major share of hotline contacts originate as texts (“Kids are mostly texters”) from students on the bus after school, enabling the district to track onboard video footage detailing bullying incidents. “The two hottest spots are buses and locker rooms,” Braun stated.

Braun sees a far more positive environment today for developmentally challenged and other special needs students, thanks to “the level of inclusion, starting as early as elementary schools,” in both Unit 5 and neighboring District 87 schools. In fact, she has seen no hotline calls involving bullying of those students.

What has worsened is “girl on girl” bullying – what Braun characterizes as “the mean girl mentality.”

Braun sees parents playing a vital role in preventing and reducing bullying, by controlling their own behavior and speech in front of their kids and being an active part of “the community within the school,” including the student’s entire family unit.

“Sometimes, we can only touch that kid from 8 until 4,” she nonetheless lamented. “At least, we can make positive changes for that little amount of time we have them.”

Contact your school to learn about anti-bullying efforts and hotline/reporting resources.

"Mary": Curiosity and The Educable Moment

By Camille Taylor

A student at a local school has a part time job at a local restaurant. Let’s call her “Mary.”

“Mary” is African-American and has worked at this restaurant as both a hostess and a waitress. So, she is in constant contact with customers. Mary described how she gets questions from customers about her hair (she wears an afro), her accent (she has a slight British accent), and her name, which is not a typical Anglo-Saxon name.

She didn’t anticipate that these aspects of her life would be an issue for anyone, but has discovered that these are issues she has to contend with while working in a public place in Bloomington/Normal. When I asked her how getting these questions made her feel, she said she used to get irritated, but now she has learned to use their questions as an opportunity to educate them.

“Mary” indicated that she has learned to move on and not hold grudges and that has allowed her to grow as a person. She was bullied, teased, and excluded for being “different” in elementary and middle school. As a high school student she came to understand that it is OK to be who she is, and she is proud of her African heritage. Her self- confidence has allowed her to become a leader in her school and help others who are less fortunate.

"Breaking A Bully's Grip"

"Bullying is a problem that transcends generations. The devastating effects have forced victims into isolation and pushed some to suicide. Every story of bullying gone too far sparks a firestorm of frustration and outrage. Parents, teachers, and society as a whole are blamed. Along with the accusations come demands for action. Despite calls for legislation, programs, or harsh punishment for bullying, there is no simple solution.

"Yet the situation is not hopeless. As the largest preparer of Illinois teachers, Illinois State University faculty, staff, and students are taking a stand against bullying through research, curricula, and programming."

So writes Steven Barcus, copy editor with Illinois State's University Marketing and Communications Department, in the recent article "Breaking A Bully's Grip." Barcus outlines the steps taken after ISU School of Communications Administrative Aide Patty Franz discovered the severity of the bullying problem faced by her granddaughter and others in her junior high.

"(My granddaughter) threw her backpack in the back seat, jumped in the car, rolled up the window, and told her grandma to drive," Franz recounted. "She said, ‘Get out of here right away, grandma. Some girls are going to beat me up.’

“I asked why. She said, ‘I don’t know. I guess they don’t like me.’”

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services defines bullying as “unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.” Bullying has long been an unfortunate fixture in scholastic life, but social networking, increased media bombardment, and growing diversity in the classroom have added troubling, sometimes dangerous new dimensions to an age-old issue. Franz already had seen reports of children bullied to the point of mental breakdown, or in extreme cases, suicide. She decided to take action.

Four Communications grad students who had their own dealings with bullying volunteered to help Franz. One student was a mother of a child who had been bullied at the same school, one had a sister that bullied students at that junior high, one had been bullied, and another had a friend who had committed suicide as a result of bullying.

The group named itself Transformers and partnered with teachers and administrators at Parkside Junior High School to deliver lesson plans promoting positive social behavior. When word spread, the group of four students grew to 20.

Read Barcus' account of the progress the Transformers and their mentor, School of Communications Professor Cheri Simonds have fostered and learn more about the psychology and dynamics of bullying at http://stories.illinoisstate.edu/magazine/illinois-state/features/whats-required-break-bullys-grip/

 

Angelique: Arts and the Humanity

Angelique Racki

Breaking Chains & Advancing Increase/School of Arts

Bloomington-based BCAI School of Arts is positioning itself to be able to provide maximum cultural experience through the arts. We are undertaking an Indian Arts branch, Hispanic/Latino Arts branch, and expanding our Asian Arts and Urban Arts branches.

In this way, not only can each culture have an outlet, a platform, and a voice, but if we can cross-culturally train each individual, how much MORE understanding and how much LESS false judgment would there be?

Here at BCAI, our prime focus is not to teach art. It is to use the training itself and the atmosphere provided to increase wisdom, teamwork, accountability, responsibility, and most importantly, self-value. We are open to all races, ages, social statuses, and cultures. We do cater to those who may not otherwise be able to afford such a necessary outlet. 

One of our teens perhaps summarizes the personal value of the BCAI experience best: "BCAI's afterschool program helped me feel more 'me' and understand the people who get bullied."

BCAI is located at 510 East Washington Street. For information, call (309) 532-4272, or visit www.bcaidance.com/.