Bloomington's Neville House serves “all victims of domestic violence – men, women, children,” including not only shelter at an undisclosed location but also free confidential counseling, support groups, and assistance in individuals obtaining orders of protection where needed, according to Sabrina Cavanaugh, the organization’s youth service advocate.
“A lot of people aren’t aware of all of our services, or how to get hold of us, though we have a 24/7 hotline number we try to get out there,” Cavanaugh says. “And then there are a lot of obstacles to people just wanting to seek help, or people not being ready to get out of a situation or being scared to get out of a situation – not knowing what’s going to happen to them if they try to leave.”
Once a prospective client calls the hotline (309-827-7070), they are given the address to the shelter under a promise of confidentiality. Because clients are at varying emotional stages or may be unready to leave an abusive situation, Neville House counselors help shelter arrivals assess their goals, whatever they may be, but Cavanaugh stresses “we don’t push them toward anything.” Neville House can help locate new living accommodations and/or employment for clients who already have left their abusers, along with continued counseling to “keep them emotionally on track.”
If clients decide to return home, counselors help develop a safety plan and/or telephone code words for future crises or even assist in devising an emergency “exit strategy.” Keys to preventing or defusing potentially violent encounters include learning the verbal or behavioral cues that indicate an argument or discussion is about to escalate and gauging the safest point to escape an abusive environment or to call for help.
Cavanaugh sees no real up-or-down trend in abuse-related services over the last few years, but rather a broadly fluctuating “roller coaster” of client traffic on a day-to-day basis. Incidence of “financial abuse” – the control a spouse or partner may exert by withholding access to household funds or limiting spousal/partner earning/saving potential – is on the rise, she reports. Because it often is a more subtle form of control that limits resources for escape, financial abuse is a particularly problematic issue.
“We see a lot of men controlling women by not letting them work, giving them an allowance, not letting them spend money, or controlling how they spend money,” Cavanaugh says. “Financial abuse goes along with emotional abuse. Sometimes, it starts with just financial or just emotional abuse, and then, over time, it does turn physical, and things get worse.”
Cavanaugh, a former child care center director, specializes in counseling the children caught up in an abusive home situation. Those family members range from infancy to 18 years, with varying levels of comprehension and emotional responses. With younger children in the shelter environment, she focuses on normalizing their activities, “showing them love, just showing them that not everything is abuse, that they can be loved.” She helps teen girls understand the signs of a potentially abusive relationship, “so that they don’t repeat the cycle.”
Sometimes, the conversation must tackle issues such as sex and/or drug use – “whatever they’ve been exposed to at home.”
“Their mom may be so focused on surviving right now that the child may need someone else to open up to, to talk to,” Cavanaugh notes.
While some 90 percent of Neville House’ clients are victims of male abuse, it also serves male victims, and is seeing an increase in LGBT clients.